Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child: From Your First Hours Together Through the Teen Years

Currently available from Harvard Common Press

Review the table of contents and read several excerpts at Then order your copy!

You won’t need a Ph.D. in psychology or a prescription for Prozac to read Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child, This book is upbeat and filled with engaging true stories about children from all over the world and their adoptive parents who have nurtured their child’s resiliency with the author’s guidance.

book_coverDr. Patty Cogen creates a parenting “map” to help families effectively address the unique needs of internationally adopted children. She explains what to expect and what to do from the minute parents receive their child and through the years that follow, including the challenging teen years.

Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child will shatter the myths and dispel the fears of prospective and adoptive parents. This book empowers parents,as well as professionals working with internationally adopted children, to become more insightful, effective, and confident. Parents will want at least three copies: one for themselves, one for the grandparents, one for the pediatrician

Comments from Experts

For a full length, exciting book review by Dr. Boris Gindis, Ph.D., go to and click on the Newsletter Archive link. Go to Newsletter #101 from January 8, 2009.

A remarkably comprehensive and useful resource for both parents and practitioners. Anyone adopting internationally should have it. — Susan Soonkeum Cox, vice-president, Holt International adoption agency

As both a therapist and a parent, Patty Cogen offers valuable, practical advice with hands-on suggestions and great tips for navigating your parenting journey. —- Carrie Kitze, publisher EMK Press ( Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections)

Packed with sensible and sensitive ideas and insights, Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child will be tops on my list of recommended reading for adoptive parents.— MaryAnn Curran, director of social services and U.S. programs, World Association for Children and Parents

A wonderful reference infused with practical insight and advice. Most important, it is a reminder to celebrate our children and to recognize and relish the magical moments. —-Rose Lewis, author of I Love You Like Crazy Cakes


Adoptive Families Magazine’s Review (May/June 2008)

The Parenting Journey
A new adoption parenting guide offers sound advice for every stage of your child’s development.

“Who will my child be? How will she behave?” “My child is here. I don’t feel that I am doing anything right. Will it get better?”

Do these questions seem familiar? Whether parents are in anticipation, or in the trenches, of raising a family, Patty Cogen responds to common questions with warmth and wisdom in Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child (Harvard Common Press; $14.95).

Based on her research and clinical practice, and her own experiences as the parent of an internationally adopted child, Cogen’s book is encyclopedic in scope and human in tone. Cogen draws on the families who have attended her “First Year Home” groups to create five composite children and their parents. Though their stories she offers practical help for everything from language learning to sleep problems, and provides explanation that will help parents reframe troubling behaviors in light of a child’s early experience.

Cogen’s discussion of an adoptee’s four key question–What happened to me? Who will take care of me now? Did I make the big change happen? Will everything change again, and will I lose you, too–is especially helpful. She advocates telling the adoption story from the child’s point of view , and provides an excellent overview of the child’s understanding of adoption at different ages.

Review by Joyce Laudon, a member of Spence-Chapin‘s adoption counseling team, who’s worked with adoptees and adoptive parents for nearly 30 years.